“Am I ready to go back to cold water and melamine
plates?” I think as I soak my hands in
hot soapy water. Something that, five
weeks ago seemed strange yet now is becoming all too familiar again. Familiar and comfortable. Like hot showers and driving cars on organized
streets. Family time and swims in
beaches. Shopping malls and soy chai
lattes. All the things I have missed and
have capitalized on during our five week time away.
But that time has come to an end. And I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go
back. Reports come in from my wonderful
husband who has kept the fort for us in Ethiopia with our two daughters. Reports of water shortages leaving them
chasing water from neighbouring communities.
Four day power cuts that leave meat unfrozen and cause fires to ignite
to cook it.
Five weeks ago we entered into a Christmas season that
didn’t exist in our small city in Ethiopia.
No Christmas carols as you walk through the malls. No commercials advertising Christmas sales
on TV. Not a whisper of Santa Claus or
his reindeer. Just the beginning of the
Advent fast which is observed by the majority Orthodox population in Ethiopia.
Just as we entered into that season, we re-entered into many
cultural norms that are “Kiwi”, many we had forgotten about. Questions flooded the lips of my sons as they
tried to make sense of it and reconnect with their homeland. Some which took me by surprise as it all was
so familiar to me after living here for 33 years before we left. They only six and eight years, had many
experiences they needed to recollect conscientiously.
I guess the most frustrating thing about carrying a vision
into a country where aloofness causes apathy, is the misunderstanding that
inevitably results. I still fly the flag
that “You don’t know, until you go.” Yet
I sat with people who had been to Russia, to Thailand and to Ghana and heard
stories that sounded all too familiar.
But to live long term, breathe and become accustomed to breathing the
stench that surrounds the poverty that invades areas of Ethiopia, demands
another experience. And it for us,
demands a lot of energy and expectations.
So in thinking about the demands I had to go back to. The cold water showers and the inability to
jump in a car and drive to my desired destinations (as I had been over the last
five weeks) I had to ask myself “Am I ready?”
Though I love Ethiopia and the people who abide therein.
Though I love the food, the culture, the experiences that we
have shared as a family.
I lacked faith in MY ability to have the strength and
capacity to do it again and sustain the call long term like we had always
planned we would.
I watched my boys having fun with their cousins numerous
times in the pool, in the beach and even in the lake which I used to swim while
they were in utero.
I walked beautiful forests and sat in beautiful homes where
all the luxuries of life were available to me.
I got to be a part of three milestones in our families, the
announcements of two pregnancies in our family and the long awaited wedding of
my baby sister who I love so dearly.
I worshipped freely to the God whom I adore in the language
I knew most and shared my heart with the people I had worshipped with for so
many years before.
There is an ease about the life we lived, the life that we
forsook to go beyond the shores of the Pacific Ocean to embark on the
landlocked country that stole our hearts.
As we spent New Years Day at the local swimming pools,
watching the kids swim and eat in the company of their cousins and Nana, this
doubt filled my mind. Scrolling through
my Facebook feed to dull out the sounds of doubt and I come across this
video. It’s our friends we have met
through the Homeschool program who we joining forces with to bring solutions to
the women in our program. Their hearts
beat in time with ours it seems.
I watch and tears start welling up in my eyes and my heart
melts again.
THIS is what keeps us there and draws us back.
It’s a CALL that touches part of our soul like nothing else
can. It’s a heart cry of a people that
God has called us to respond to ON HIS BEHALF because He uses PEOPLE.
Even Broken People like me
Even Doubters and the hesitant.
He uses our messes for His ministry.
He uses our willingness and obedience.
He calls us back to be a part of something bigger than
ourselves.
So I sit on this big Emirates A380 double decker, carrying
the memories we have created of late, the reconnections with supporters and the
promises of more, I open up my Bible and read this from John 6:27-29
Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures
to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on Him God has placed his seal of
approval.
Then he asked him, “What must we do to do the work God
requires?”
Jesus answered “The work of God is this: to believe in the
One whom He has sent.”
It’s a timely reminder of the life we have committed to in
this season. It’s not one of building
wealth but it’s a life of faith. If
that’s okay with the God we serve, that’s okay with us.
And so we re-enter back in!
Thanks again in advance for your prayers and support xo
