A Mother's Loss: My Somber Christmas Blog

Last night, I was disturbed by a dream that left me searching for my son.  I had sent him off somewhere not knowing exactly where he was going and two days later I realized he wasn’t coming back so I searched for him relentlessly, afraid that I may have lost him forever.  I asked family and friends if they had seen him, which left them accusatory to say the least at my lack of responsibility in protecting this ten year old boy’s safety. The ten year old boy I love the most in the entire world.

 I questioned my own sanity in letting him go by himself and not having any way of contacting him. I felt like he had gone into an abyss that we could never get him back from. My dream turned into a nightmare.  Thankfully though, I woke to find that this was not at all true and that my son was indeed still laying upstairs safely in his bed.  Relief.

 Not so for another mother we encountered this week though;  Not so for yet another one we have met in these last five months and again not even for another mother we are reflecting on this season.  Let me tell you about these three mothers:

1.       We have just moved into a new place in the west south corner of Addis Ababa. The suburb is developing fast and many foreigners as well as Ethiopian people are moving into this area, showing promise for business owners and landlords who have built homes in the area anticipating that this would happen.  The area also leads onto the new highway that runs south to places like Debre Zeit (our old home city), Nazaret and Awash National Park.

There is a bustling supermarket and business building that is frequented by many middle class and well-to-do customers. Knowing this, many beggars stand stationed outside with their children, trying to make the most of the opportunities that will avail them.

Unfortunately though, as we found out, these children are being put at risk as they follow people across the busy street chasing that coin, that birr, that piece of bread…which is so much less than they ACTUALLY need.  My heart broke as we encountered the enormity again of the need here and our insufficiency to meet the needs.

Thursday came and Asaua and I went to do our shopping with our friend in her car to this particular supermarket which seems to be the closest thing to our western supermarket experiences (bar the security checks at the door and the potential power outages).  I had forgotten the wallet on the first trip so a couple of hours later, Asaua had to make a second trip to pay for and collect the food.  As he was getting ready to pay and leave, the driver came in to warn him that there had been an accident outside.  One of the beggar boys had been hit by a passing vehicle and he lay dead in his mother’s grieving arms.  People surrounded them to pass blame on this mother for allowing her son to be out begging with her while she wailed; Asaua catching a glimpse of his limping legs still lying on the road that claimed his life. Cars came to a halt to bypass the boy who needed bypassing just a few minutes earlier.  A life not yet lived, was taken away and a mother lost her son in one Thursday afternoon excursion. The loss of that mother rang wild in my soul as Asaua reported what had happened on his return. Oh, Lord Jesus, you know the pain that grieved her heart.

2.        Five months ago as we prepared to leave Ethiopia, a lovely lady had been put in contact with me as a potential partner with the work that we are involved with.  As it turned out, she ended up being the answer to our prayer for accommodation in Sydney as we prepared to stay near my sister’s house in the “Hills District” of this huge city.  She lived only six kilometres away from where my mum and sister’s family were living.

As we entered into her home, we heard this mother’s loss of her dear son.  Nine years earlier, her son had left his home country with his wife to be missionaries in Ethiopia. After he had arrived, our host (his mother) had visited him and they had a good time together exploring the country he had then made his home.   After her return to Australia, a few months down the track, she was alerted to the fact that her son was in a fatal fall during a rainy night excursion out onto the roof of a building that needed some maintenance.

As we heard her story, we sensed her pain and empathized with the loss this family had experienced as the result of his obedience to God’s call on his life to go to Ethiopia. It doesn’t make sense yet we have heard it time and time again. Mother’s losing children on the mission field. What pain they must endure to not have to just say goodbye once, but to say goodbye till eternity they meet.  A mother’s loss of a son surfacing in an ocean of pain.  Grief unbearable without the strength of One who carries heavy burdens.

3.       The third woman that comes to mind is the one to whom we see around us in Nativity scenes and on Christmas Cards this season.  Two thousand plus years ago, she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. “The One who was and is and is to come.” He was to be conceived of the Holy Spirit in HER womb and to be raised in her home under the love of her arms only to then be given over to a horrendous death in which she would be witness to.  He was to be the propitiation for our sins.  Yet she took on the challenge and trusted God with her son.  She surrendered her body, her life, her grief to the One who had seen the beginning from the end.  

I wonder if she sensed the loss from the beginning, forming attachments with her beloved son – a son who did not sin! A son who did no wrong and could not have caused her harm if he had tried; her love for him would have been untainted by hurt or pain.  Yet she awaited the time when what the world would do to him would bring the greatest hurt and pain a mother could endure.  Yet she loved and protected him, chasing him down also when he seemed to go missing yet was about his Father’s business. You can read about that story in Luke 2:41-52

Though this wasn't the greatest loss this mother was to experience, it was the taste of what was yet to come. In the event of her greatest loss, Jesus comforted her and gave her a "replacement" son, John. She then got to know the joy of His Resurrection before anyone else did as she met him outside his tomb.  This is the hope that we have. The story does not finish at her loss, but rather in her regaining her Son in His Resurrection moment. This too we can partake in as we receive Eternal Life thought the very act Mary lived to grieve. Do you know that Eternal Hope? It is yours for the taking.  

In this season where the focus is on a Son, know that it encompasses the awaiting loss, an expected grief and that in that grief, He is not unaware of yours.  

He truly came to bring...

JOY TO THE WORLD!